How to Get Along With Others

by Brenda Williams

If you live with a roommate or boyfriend, girlfriend, husband, wife, or other person, it can often be difficult to get along with them. At some point, the other person will do something or say something to get on your nerves. It is almost an inevitability! So, what can you do about it? First of all, realize that we are not meant to be exactly like each other. If that were the case, could you imagine how boring this world would be?!

Secondly, realize that because of the differences you and your loved ones may share that you will have to compromise. For example, my boyfriend and I live together in a small one-bedroom apartment. I am an excessive neat-freak and at first, he was not. However, before I agreed to allow him to move in, I made him well aware of this fact as well as my intolerance for slovinliness! As a result, he has almost completely shed his sloppy ways and has come to appreciate what a neat living space can mean. There are some small things here and there such as dishes being left in the sink or books being left out in piles on the desk, but I had to stop myself and ask, "Are these things really worth arguing over? Or am I just being petty by bringing them up?"

When you live with someone else, you really have to pick and choose your battles. You need to realize that that person is not an exact replica of you; they don't think exactly like you, therefore the same things that bother you may not be the same things that bother them. Give them credit where credit is due. Too often we are hard on others who may have done a thousand things right but messed up on one thing. We tend to focus on the one thing that they did wrong versus the other nine hundred and ninety-nine things that they did right. Now, is that fair? The best way to get along well with others is to sit down and talk about your feelings. I know this sounds cheesy, but if you sit down and really hash out what it is that is bothering you without offending the other person, then you will both be much better because of it. It is not appropriate to allow things to go on, all the while letting it bother you and build up inside until one day you finally snap at them.

Learn how to be an adult and present such issues as a way to voice your opinions on things. A lot of the time, the other person doesn't realize that they've even done something wrong and will be more than happy to address the issue. Similarly, if you work in an office environment and have a group presentation to give at an upcoming meeting, you need to collaborate and be able to work with other team members, expressing your ideas, concerns and opinions. Communication is such an important and necessary part of having successful relationships with any person you meet.

About the Author

San Francisco Rehab

Alcohol Rehab Center

"The Law of Attraction: Complete 10 minute Course"

by Doug Wilson

The reason I can explain the law of attraction in ten minutes is because it's simple to fully understand. You know it fully already. This will save you a lot of money if you're one of those people who think you can pay money and learn some secret-that no one else knows. I saw an ad the other day by a well known author and speaker, I think that's his name. The pitch is offering to get you working the law of attraction in thirty days. Of course it's not free. That's quite a deal...for the well known author and speaker. This would be like me making some incredible limited time offer to teach you the secret of swallowing your food.

As a matter of fact, the reason I haven't written this sooner is because I didn't think that I could write an entire page on it. Let's get it out of the way. Whatever you think about will start to show up in your life. Please make all donations payable to me. Thank you. Whenever I start a new endeavor I start thinking about what I need to make it work and how I can do it as efficiently as possible and guess what? I start to run in to what I need, the stuff shows up everywhere. I went to work driving pile when I was twenty. I started seeing cranes and cables and looking at the sides of buildings to see if they were plumb. Started meeting people that knew about piling and rigging. My life was jammed full of heavy equipment. If you notice a car that you think you're seeing for the first time you'll see twice as many from now on. Possibly starting within the hour. It's likely to happen before you stop thinking about the car you just saw, for the first time-ever. About the time you're wondering where to get one, or how much they cost, you'll open your door in a parking lot and hit one parked next to you.

The secret that we all need to learn is not the law of attraction. That's like saying I need to take a course in the law of gravity. What we need to get better at is paying attention. That too is about as easy as it gets. Stand on one leg. Too easy? I can feel you wanting more. Why? Do you want paying attention to be difficult? I'll give one more piece of advice that many thousands have paid through the nose for. Life isn't really very complicated. OK, life is so complicated that we can spend many life times learning about it. But, that falls under the life sciences category. My point is that where "our lives" are concerned, it's pretty simple. The reason we're in such a complicated mess is because people can take anything and make it into a complicated mess. Here's a simple rule. If you see people making a mess of things, go around them. If you happen to get put in charge of a mess, take the mess and dispose of it. Start over.

So now I guess we can start to have some fun with our understanding of the mysterious law of attraction. In order to begin recognizing it as it happens you will do well to write it down. You'll want a pad and pencil handy at all times. Pocket sized spiral pads are best when you are on the move. Whenever you notice the law at work jot it down. One minute you'll be wondering how anyone ever gets a tiger to jump through a flaming hoop and the next thing you know the answer will appear. Write it down. (hoop jumping tiger) The more you do it the more you'll notice it. The real benefit in this is that you'll increase your expectation quotient. When that starts to happen your life can become very different, very fast.

I think my time is about up. I'm not joking about standing on one leg. It's impossible to stand on one leg and not have and increased awareness. I guess, for this lesson, we should make the checks out to the heron.

About the Author

Doug Wilson is an avid student of concepts and has spent the last five years seeking out the structural aspect of unrest in human nature. The results of this study is being cataloged and turned into a life guide system for establishing a self determined path, at DgsWilsonHome and Addiction: In the 21st Century

Power of Positive Thinking - Think Your Way to Success

by Omar Negron

Positive thinking has many ways to improve the aspects of life for an individual and it provides people with the strength to go through many difficult situations. By having a positive outlook on things it helps you see situations clearly without any anger or negative emotions. In order to have positive thinking yield results you need to develop a positive attitude toward life and expect a successful outcome with whatever you do. This is a great tool for you to master and use daily if you are serious about achieving success.

There are a few questions you must ask yourself in order to be sure you are ready to embrace positive thinking. Are you willing to make a real inner change? Are you willing to change the way you think? Are you willing to develop a mental power that can positively affect you, your environment and the people around you?

When you are able to answer these questions then you can consider yourself ready to engage life as a positive person and begin interacting with people. Remember that one of the hardest things to do in life is to remain positive even when all seems to fail. Master this and you will attract much success to yourself and those around you.

The hardest part is always to take the first step and actually begin the road to success. Most of us are overcome by fear of failure and so you must get yourself to stop fearing and begin to succeed in your life.

About the Author

Omar Negron is a 21 year old internet marketer who is student of attraction marketing and teaches hidden techniques on how to market your business on the internet.

Want to learn how he generates 35+ leads a day? Get your FREE attraction marketing strategy from the Co-Creator of www.MyMLMMagic.com

I'll Be Happy When...

by Linda Binns

Are you happy? What will it take for you to be truly happy? If you're like many people you're waiting for something to happen or someone to come into your life or something to change before you can be really happy and enjoy your life. Most people are constantly putting off really living their lives until things are just right, or until something happens.

Things like, if I could just be making more money, or if I could just lose weight, or if I could just get the job that I want, or the partner I want, or if my spouse would just be as I want him/her to be, then I'd be happy. The bad news is, you'll be waiting a long, long time. Before you know it, life will have passed you by and you'll be wondering what happened to your life. It wasn't supposed to be this way. Some of you may even be at that point now, wondering what happened to your life.

It's a trap many people fall into and once in, they find it difficult to know how to get out. There's no really easy answer to this of course, no one thing that you can do that will make everything perfect. But there are things that you can do to change things, to start being truly happy, and one of those things is gratitude.

Before you dismiss this as too simple, not transformative enough or just something you've heard before, stop for a moment and think about it. When you're constantly waiting for something to happen before you can really live your life and be happy, what you're saying is that you're not happy now. What you have is not good enough, you want something different. Example: "I don't like my body, but when I lose 50lbs then I'll like it, and then I can start doing the things I want to do." When we are constantly dissatisfied with what we have in life then the only thing that will happen is that we'll attract more situations into our life to be unhappy or dissatisfied with.

It's hard to think that something so deceptively simple as gratitude can have any impact at all, let alone profound change, but I assure you it can. Try it, what have you got to lose? Start now by thinking of what you can be grateful for. If you make a point of doing this every day, you'll not only start to appreciate yourself and your life more, I guarantee you that you'll start attracting more positive people and situations into your life.

I know that sometimes it's difficult to think of something to be grateful for. Don't worry if you're finding it difficult, just start. It's best if you can get a journal to write in, because then whenever you do struggle to think of something, writing in your journal can be a good reminder. This can be your gratitude journal. Is your life really so bad that you can't think of anything? You hate your job - what about the fact that you have a job. You don't have a job - what about the fact that you can walk, use your hands, have eyes to see, are able to work and look for work. You can be grateful that you got out of bed this morning. Grateful that you have a television to watch, hot water for your shower, food to eat.

Start being grateful for the people in your life, your family, your friends, your co-workers, the person who delivers your mail or picks up the trash.

Try looking at every situation that you feel frustrated or angry about and see what you can find to be grateful for. You're stuck in traffic - be grateful that you have a car, that you can listen to music or educational CD's in your car. Your computer's not working - be grateful that you have a computer and know how to use it. The electricity bill arrives and you don't have enough money to pay it - be grateful to the electric company for providing you with the electricity, be grateful for the money you do have.

When you start to do this, to think in this way and to actively look for things to be grateful for, you really will find that you start to feel better. It's so much better to think this way than to constantly be thinking about what you don't have or what you don't like. It changes your energy, it will help you feel calmer and less stressed, and then the wonderful thing is that you'll start to find that things do change for the better. Not because you're trying to make them happen out of dissatisfaction with the way things are, but because you're focusing on the abundance that you already have, which allows more to flow to you and you're in the perfect stat energetically to receive it.

Go ahead, try it See what a difference it can make to you. Just one more simple thing that can make a very big difference.

"Gratefulness is the key to a happy life that we hold in our hands, because if we are not grateful, then no matter how much we have we will not be happy -- because we will always want to have something else or something more."

- Brother David Steindl-Rast

About the Author

Linda Binns is author of Feng Shui for Your Relationships: Changing Your Environment to Create Better Relationships. She has been a Feng Shui Practitioner, Author, Speaker and teacher for over 10 years. She has appeared internationally on television and radio and in local publications. Linda is also the founder of The Feng Shui Success Institute - which teaches in-depth Feng Shui training and practitioner certification.

IMPORTANCE OF A COACH

by John Di Lemme

As you go through life, you will meet people that have done what you want to do in life. They've made it! You know deep in your heart that if they can do it then you can too. So, how do you get to that level of success? Get a coach! That's right invest in someone who has done what you want to do in life. If you want to become successful in business, then find a coach that has made millions of dollars by building a business. DO NOT hire a coach that has never achieved success in their field! Let me give you some examples of what you should look for in a coach.

Confident A coach must be confident that he can teach you to become successful in your field because he has already done it. Confidence comes through struggles and failures that ultimately lead to success.

Open A coach must be willing to tell you the truth even when the truth hurts. Sometimes it's very difficult to see that you are standing in your own way of success. A true coach will bring this to your attention.

Admirable If you don't respect the coach for what he has done in his career or personal life, then you most likely don't want to hire him. A coach should be full of integrity and well respected among his peers. It's hard to be coached by someone that you don't look up to or even consider to be a professional in the field.

Consistent A coach must be consistent with the strategies that he is teaching. You will see many coaches that jump from idea to idea because what they are doing hasn't worked for their clients. Ask your coach for references so that you can see if he has helped others implement strategies that have led to success.

Healthy Yes, that's right. A coach should lead a healthy, happy life. You shouldn't have to hear about how bad his day was or how much he doesn't get along with his wife. You want a coach that has a balanced lifestyle that enables him to help you with your obstacles and not concentrate on his own issues. These are just a few things to consider when looking for that right coach that will assist you in achieving your "Why" in life. I challenge you to set a goal of hiring a personal coach, but be sure to find the right one for you!

Find Your Why NOW! John Di Lemme

John wants to give you a FREE copy of his e-book

"177 Motivational Quotes to Live the Championship Life"

Go here now >>>> www.motive8.me

About the Author

John is an International Motivational Speaker, Author and Business Coach who, through his live-seminars, training programs, live teleclasses, and websites has made a reality for thousands of people worldwide.

John wants to give you a FREE copy of his e-book

"177 Motivational Quotes to Live the Championship Life"

Go here now >>>> www.motive8.me

The Law Of Attraction - The Power Of Your Mindset

by Joaquin Reyes

In my early teens when I started learning the law of attraction and universal laws, I felt guilty for getting such powerful knowledge that other people did not have. Then, at the same time my reasoning put it in perspective and told me it was obsoletely fair. The reason is fair is because I attracted this information to my life. I have been a risk taker and always wanted more out of life, just like many of you. Maybe you have been searching for the hot deal, the right promotion, the right business, the right partner, the right significant other, etc. I was there a few years ago. I would start reading positive books, attend seminars, attend the local chamber of commerce, read magazines of success, go to the rich neighborhoods to watch the homes, etc. It amazes me that was 12 years ago. I am now 27. Please understand I was focus and not lazy. Finally it all came together, all in your life comes as a result of your mindset.

Your mindset determines your future. You still need to have focus in your thinking and apply daily habits to get the things you want in life. If you want a raise from your job, then just focus on how much you want the raise to be and take the right actions in your respective field. I want to talk for a minute about having the right Mindset to make it financially. Speaking of finances, one of the most terrible mistakes anyone can make regarding their finances is focus of the lack of money. Specially right now that our country is going through a slow bump. Instead of focusing on the lack or how bad things are, focus on how great the opportunities are. The issue is not lack of opportunities, the issue is a poor mindset. Please understand success is something you attract by the person you become. You see your goal is just to change inside and the outside will reflect those changes. Now of course you have to discipline in making those changes. Let me tell you from personal experience is all worth it. I recommend reading quality books, listening to quality CD's, attend quality seminars and associate with empowering people. Following these recommendations will bring you a brighter and more fulfilling life.

To your prosperity,

About the Author

Joaquin Reyes, owns many successful businesses both brick-n-border and online. He was able to achieved financial freedom by age 24. For FREE Resources on Your Mindset & Law of Attraction visit http://www.IsYourThinking.com

3 Steps Promise New Year Abundance

by Cheryl Janecky

Take 3 simple steps and plant the seeds of prosperity and harmony for your new year ahead. Now is the time to clear out the old and make room for the new. Sometimes the hardest things to hear (and do) are so simple and easy you can't believe they work. Give Good Fortune a try - you'll love the results.

The Winter Solstice months of December and January are the longest nights and the shortest days of the year. It is a time that nature draws within herself. Leaves fall, some animals hibernate, as do many trees in cold climates (and the sap runs again in the spring.)

It is a time of you naturally turning inward to inner peace and stillness - and also a time of festivities, parties and gatherings of friends and families. Find your balance between the two and spend quiet time now.

"Nothing happens unless first a dream." Carl Sagan
Dust off your imagination, and play with your own potential for the coming year. What is your Dream of the best life can be? Discover your own unique creative path to wealth and health.

Can you Imagine your past year - and life up to now - as a big garden? Try it. Pretend that all your habits, activities, work, play, hobbies, and relationships are flowers and vegetables growing in your life's "garden." Winter is the best time to clear some space for new growth in the Spring.

This time of year is quiet, and much now lies dormant. You can easily see the weeds of fear, judgment and blame that kept some plants (desires) from blossoming and bearing fruit last year. Some places the weeds overtook your best intentions, and your harvest was not what you'd hoped.

Imagine you can clear out the old "weed" habits of fear, anxiety and blame…set them aside, dried and withered, and burn them. Watch them go up in smoke. Now the ashes will make the soil richer - so dig everything up, turn the soil, see the rich earth fertile and ready to bring forth new life in the spring. The seeds of your future need a fresh place to grow, then bear fruit and a bountiful harvest in the coming year.

"We are what we repeatedly do.
Excellence, then, is not an act, but a habit." Aristotle
Take three steps and assure you have created the space for your New Year. To have something new - you must create the space for it - and do something new about achieving it. Use your power to Vision and Imagine as a good starting place.

Imagine the Winds of Change clearing away the old and opening up a way to bring in the new.

"How much pain they have cost us,
the evils which have never happened." Thomas Jefferson

Step one: Cleanse.
Clean away and let go of all that is no longer of use, remove all that is interfering with you flowing easily in life. Make room - a fresh clean space to invite in all you Desire. Open up and release all that is outside your Vision.

• Cleanse away old models and unconscious habits that conflict with your vision. All fears of loss, of not being good enough - fears of illness or poverty or aging.


• Clean out fears (from ancestors and childhood) - of authority, of others, of evil (stopping or interfering with you) and of not being safe on your own or of working with others.


• Fear of change, fear of failure or of a set-back, fear of taking risks, fear of humiliation or that someone will disapprove of your Dreams.


• Fear you can't find your right place and your own inner-Vision. Fear you can't do it, can't make it on your own, that no one will help. Fear of not knowing the outcome, nothing is certain, most fail, what do you fear?


• Clear away the old habit patterns that keep you ignorant of Inspiration and Opportunities. Old habits guarantee you will fail: Following others and authority, sticking to old ideas and models…compulsive responses to social triggers and remaining consistent to the past.

"Courage is the power to let go of the familiar." Raymond Lindquist

Step two: Renew.
What needs to be renewed, refreshed, remembered, and revitalized?

• Renew your sense of yourself: Choose to move into the fresh, light feeling of love and appreciation for all life. Make a list of 20 talents and 10 things that make you happy. Recall your inner-Vision. Follow what feels good, a natural path from your heart to your Dream.


• Renew your commitment to stop automatic responses and live Mindfully. Feel the weight of ignorance, of old models, falling away and with it the fear, anxiety and inertia that blocks the path to the life you want.


• Align with your Dream of the good life - and feel the fun and Joy of living it NOW. Remember to feel appreciation - that "vibration and feeling" is out of the range of fear.


• Seek out your Dream in your daily life and to enjoy the qualities of fun and playfulness you want to live, even in small ways.


• Open to your New Year ahead.
  Open your body - to healing quickly, being vital and flexible.
  Open your mind to the knowing within and speak of love and joy.
  Open your heart to the love all around - share it and feel happiness.
  Open to Mindful Intentional living NOW- present, aware, secure.
  Open to be at-ONE with Source - the creative Life Force within you.
• In the past it may not have been possible to have it all - but now it is. Anything you Desire and Focus on is available to you: Your potential is unlimited. Renew this expansive, happy feeling and live it. Look for it and you'll find it.


• Love your Dream unconditionally. Renew your commitment to live your passion. Accept and approve of doing what pleases you most. Be free to create and explore the best life has to offer. Well-being is your birthright. Claim your rightful place as a Creator in life.

"The way you treat yourself sets the standard for others." Sonya Friedman

Step three: Purity.
Find the core essence of you - the place you're perfect. Your pure essence is you loving your Vision of your future.

• Feel the purity of the Life Force flowing into creation. Enjoy it and flow with it - it's leading to everything you want.


• Once the old habits fall away - you are free to explore more of whom you are and what you Desire. Feel the freshness, the lightness, and the purity of your intention to find and live loving, happy, easy, playful experiences - that Attracts more of your Vision.


• Find your pure inner Vision. Take it with you to your holiday parties and gatherings. See the world from within the life you love. Everyone will enjoy you - and you will not be bothered by anything - those that are not in harmony will not be attracted to you.

"If we all did the things we are capable of doing,
we would literally astound ourselves." Thomas Edison

Cleanse, Renew and find Purity: three steps to guarantee a successful future.

Do you feel a difference now - from when you started imagining? Your feelings open up possibilities. It really is that simple. It does take repetition and quiet time so you can hear your own Inspiration.

Spend time alone- get to know your self. Choose to be in Beauty and Nature - that refreshes and enlivens you. Stop all self-talk, be still and allow Inspiration to emerge - it is the easy way to make changes, and quiet time opens the door to your inner guidance. You'll find you really like the YOU in your Dream. Why not live that now?

Once you have your garden free of fear and ready - imagine planting the seeds of health and wealth…and spend some time dwelling on how good life will be this coming spring and summer as what you Desire grows tall, blossoms, bears fruit and you harvest just what you want. How often repeat it? How much do you want what you want?

Your Good Fortune: "Sow the seeds of your future with every thought, word and deed. A bountiful harvest will soon be yours."

About the Author

Cheryl Janecky is the expert on attracting Good Fortune and quick easy steps to Living the Dream. Get the facts and free "21 Insights, tips and strategies" at http://www.quick-good-fortune.com/Get-Rich-Quick.html. Start today, find your passion, take action and live your Dream. From the new sciences and ancient wisdom, get the free facts on how to resonate and attract abundance at http://www.quick-good-fortune.com/Law-of-Attraction.html. © Cheryl Janecky - All Rights reserved.

How to Find the Meaning of Your Life

by Cory Mitchell

So many people are asking "What is the point of all this?" and "I just don't know what I am supposed to do with my life?"

Luckily the answer is quite simple. Have you ever had that burning desire to do something, or felt really passionate about something? That is your clue. Thankfully, passions differ from person to person and so it works out quite well, except that most people don't follow their true passion.

They are waiting for a sign, or some miraculous intervention that will put them on a path to what they think they should be doing with their life. But alas, they never see the sign they are looking for. Why? Because they have already missed the sign! That gut feeling is the biggest sign we can receive, and if we don't listen to that, what will we listen to? Probably nothing.

If we know what we want to do, why don't we do it? Most likely we are waiting for approval, possibly from God, from our friends, from our family or maybe from ourselves. But we will never satisfy everyone, because we are all different. We need to make our own decisions. Our meaning in life comes from partaking of the experiences we want to partake in. It comes from living without regret.

This does not mean we have to make stupid chooses we know will hurt us, for to do this will not bring us happiness, but simply more dismay. And yet this is often what we do.

The meaning of life is experiencing the things that will bring us the most happiness in our life. Most likely you already know that pursuing the things in life you are passionate about will give your life meaning, and you can choose to act on that now, or wait, but by waiting you only perpetuate an existence that you do not enjoy.

About the Author

If you are interested in this area, fusing emotional, psychological and spiritual aspects http://elevatingthesoul.com/ provides information on attaining a life that is in harmony with our desires. The information presented allows us to be at peace with what is, live in the moment and through that create the physical (and spiritual) experience we seek. With new content continually added and everything open to discussion, it provides everything you need to have your questions answered.

6 Amazing Tips On How To Manage Your Stress

by James Stein

Stress is everywhere. And with the fast-paced life that people live nowadays, stress has been a huge part of everyone's life. In fact, people are so used to it that they treat it as a normal daily occurrence. This is not normal at all. Stress, when not managed properly, can lead to all kinds of health problems, primary of which is heart problems. This is especially true with people who have had family history of heart problems.

Stress management is however really easy to do when you make an effort. In fact, if you keep in mind to prevent it from happening, you can actually live a stress-free life or at the very least be able to cope with it easily. After all, dealing with stress is stressful in itself.

Below are some great tips to help manage the stress. You don't actually have to go to elaborate ways to release the stress. You can get rid of it by preventing its occurrence in the first place. Read on and you might just keep those wrinkles from showing up.

1. Keep yourself more organized

Stress is so usual these days that it's already expected. So it's better that you prepare yourself for the big ones and let go of the smaller, insignificant pests. You can only do this if you keep your life organized. You may not know it but simply looking for your misplaced pen in the office can already put you in a lot of stress, not to mention, cause you to lose your concentration. Don't let that happen to you. Keeping your things organized will make you more prepared to deal with the bigger ones.

2. Start on your projects early

It is not true that creative juices only come out in cramming times. It only comes out during those times because we are forced to think. And with enough willpower, we can certainly think of creative concepts without stressing ourselves for lack of time. Starting early on your projects will also mean that you don't have to hurry when you are working on the project. You can take your time and really think about what you are planning to do with your project. This will not only prevent you from getting stressed out but also allow you to create a more effective and complete project.

3. Live a healthy lifestyle

Stress levels will rarely affect you when you are prepared for it, health-wise. You see, when your body is healthy and is full of energy, you are more or less protected from the effects of stress such as lowering of energy levels, nervous breakdown and sometimes, even heart disease. This can only be done by living healthy through eating the right kinds of food, getting enough sleep each night and taking the time to relax.

4. Take a break from your normal life.

If you feel that you are already nearing your breaking point, don't be a martyr. Take a break and get out of town or take a short vacation. This will do you a lot of good as it will help you recharge and de-stress yourself. If you are too busy, don't postpone it just drop everything and take care of yourself. Not doing so will only make the stress fester inside until you become too stressed out to even be productive.

This is the reason why employers give vacation leave so that people can take a full day of rest or a couple of days of rest to regain their former energy levels and creative selves.

5. Manage your stress through massage therapy Stress management through massage therapy is considered as the modern antidote for stress because it helps combat stress by trying to reduce the tension build up in the muscles. Aside from boosting the body's immune system, massage therapy also prevents the decrease in circulation and nutrient delivery to tissues which many people who are stressed often are prone with.

6. Use aromatherapy as a stress buster When it comes to aromatherapy, it involves the procedure that uses essential oils and aims to bring notable changes in a person's mood or body. With the use of essential oils which are derived from various plants and their part that are believed to have therapeutic properties aromatherapy continues to be adapted by more and more people across the globe because of its numerous benefits.

About the Author

Secure Your WordPress Blog Today WordPress Secured

Been online for over 23 years and have been developing websites for the last 15 years. I have built small html website to very large complex php and ajax based websites. ArticleProductions.com

Stress and the Care of the Self

by Cassandra Tribe

Our lives are full of demands: to keep up, to get done, to maintain and to handle emergencies. The older we get the more our lifestyle takes over our lives and all this keeping up and doing takes the majority of our time and energy. We lose our energy. We lose our enjoyment in life. Changing that, bringing back energy, purpose, passion and joy to your life requires that you begin to understand what causes stress and how what you may be doing in your life to relieve it - may actually be adding more.

Stress comes from the loss of control over the details in your life.

With no control you are placed into a position of constantly reacting rather than being able to respond, resolve and move forward.

If you are constantly reacting you are living in a highly charged emotional state.

It may not seem like you are moving through your day at the office being a 'highly charge emotional' person, but if you pay attention to how you respond to new responsibilities and new demands throughout the day you will notice a pattern of very emotional reactions. Feelings of resentment, disappointment, being overwhelmed - these are all emotions.

What is the difference between responding and reacting?

We are driven by emotions. If someone sustains damage to their right brain, they lose the capacity to do anything of their own volition. The emotions of the right brain are where we make our connections between events and can generate motivational energy that is expressed through the organized and logical actions of our left-brain dominated life.
Your emotional reaction comes first. Babies, with no language and or even focus, will respond, even if they are hungry, to an expression of love and comfort over food. You may not even be aware of the emotions that come first because emotions trigger thoughts and it happens faster than we can process in our waking state. You are not capable of efficiency if you are reacting out of fear.
Even faster than our emotional reactions can trigger a thought that we then act on, the thought itself becomes an event that can then trigger another emotion.

We take a small amount of stress and we make it larger.

When you are reacting to new responsibilities and demands and 'getting them done' you are actually destroying your sense of control over your own life. Without evaluating each thing for its needs and then placing it into your schedule where you can best deal with it you lose control over your time and begin to feel overwhelmed. The expectation you then create is that at any moment, anything can happen that will 'take your life away from you.' That is a kind of anticipatory stress that few people can survive.

We do not equally focus on what it takes to maintain the life that is needed to be present in the lifestyle. We lose the connection between our interior lives and our exterior life because we are used to seeing the elements of our lives as separate, as if we were sending off a different version of ourselves to live each hour.

This creates a kind of disjointed feel to our days that not only makes us exist in a state of constant discomfort mentally, physically and emotionally; but also creates even more stress because our ability to respond is damaged due to our unwillingness to allow all of our knowledge and experience to form our response to a need. We create a conflict of longing between the responsibilities of our lives and the life we dream of by seeing only the contradiction between the two and not the similarities.

We become incapable of responding to anything with the totality of our experience that would allow us to be competent and to handle responsibilities without stress because we disallow ourselves from being present in all the areas of our life.

Yoga, meeting with friends, a run - good ideas , but we do them in a way that is not only self-defeating, but can create more stress rather than relieve it.

We treat the things we do (like yoga) as a means to handle stress. While yoga may be a successful way of temporarily relieving stress, we miss the purpose of the experience. Yoga is not about handling stress; it is about developing your body and mind so that the experience of living becomes more integrated. If we only see it as a response to stress then if we are not experiencing 'enough stress' we will be incapable of recognizing the benefits of the yoga session. We will not have that kind of bliss of relaxation and control that comes from the contrast to our stressed and out of control feelings we had when we arrived at the yoga class. We work against ourselves when we choose to do things because of stress.

In planning out the week we set our yoga class on Thursday because we expect to be stressed by Thursday creating the opportunity for a self-fulfilling prophecy to occur. Never underestimate the power of your subconscious. If we approach it that on Thursday we have blocked out time for yoga because it is a benefit to who we are, then it will not matter if we are stressed or not. It also does not exist in conflict with our lives; we do not view the hour or two set aside as 'the only time I get a break.' Yoga and its benefits become a part of our lives that washes its effect over every moment.

The key to looking at the things in your life is to remember that the goal in your schedule is to stop reacting and start responding. Only you live your life. Mostly we live in a state of constant reaction to outside things - from emergencies, to demands, to deadlines to other people's perception and judgment of our actions. We react without thinking if our reaction (while perhaps filling an immediate and created need) benefits the totality of our lives or even is the best response that we can give.

You cannot acknowledge the totality of your life unless you can accept that every moment is connected to every other moment - from the job you do, to the love you have, to the passion that drives you they are all connected.

Outside sources that place demands on us do not know or recognize the totality of our life. If you need them to do something for you, then you are focused on getting that one thing and not weighing and balancing how it fits into the totality of their life. Maintaining the integrity of the schedule you created is essential; integrity comes from an integration of all the aspects of your life.

You have to guide your life.

You need to begin to view everything 'new' that comes into your schedule as a part of your total life. Does it really demand that it disrupt your plans and be taken care of now? You need to begin to know how each element of your life effects you. A prime example of this is work, most of us - if we have been in a job for a while - have wandered away from our job descriptions but never made any adjustments or effort to accommodate this through salary, recognition of responsibilities, or an acknowledgment of how this impacts our lives outside of work.

Here are 7 ways to begin regaining control of your life and relieving stress.

1. Do the Mandala Key Exercise. This will start you on your way to understanding how each element in your life connects to the totality.

2. Make a schedule in which you block out the time you need to spend on each of the elements of your life.

4. Respect the integrity of your schedule.

5. Begin to learn to respect your time.

6. Plan ahead for time to be with yourself, your friends or family and let nothing intrude on that time.

7. Sit and think when your week really begins and end. Find what day is the end of your week and plan your schedule for the next week on that day.

The ideas are simple but it does take a commitment and effort to begin to unravel the life that has been built around you and make the life you want.

(To read this full article go here.)

About the Author

Cassandra Tribe is the author of 'Eat not the Heart: How to live without losing your life.' A practical guide to relieving stress and changing your life. 'Stress and the Care of the Self' is part of a free series of articles written to help people learn to overcome stress and discover happiness through regaining control of their lives.

Are you Stress-Prone?

by Sandra Prior

Is your lifestyle rushed or hurried?

Are you always demanding more of yourself and of others?

Is nothing you do, or anyone else does, ever good enough?

Does your mind work overtime - always thinking, worrying, nit-picking, striving?

Do you have poor self-motivation?

Do you feel frustrated or despairing, or feel you have failed in your life in some way?

Do you always try to be what you think others want you to be?

Do you ever feel inferior and not good enough?

If you have answered yes to one or more of the above, you could be stress-prone. Here are ways to increase your resilience:

Practice living in the present moment through breath awareness and mindfulness.

Practice self-acceptance and building of self-esteem. Begin by accepting and loving yourself as you are right now. Be gentle with yourself when you struggle, fall or fail. Stop the guilt trips. 'I am where I am and it's okay' is a good mantra to repeat to yourself.

Accept responsibility for your own feelings instead of blaming others or relying on them for your sense of completeness or wellbeing.

Practice self-assertiveness, honoring your wants, needs and values. Live your truth, even if it means upsetting the social apple carts around you.

Get out of the habit of hoping and wishing, and start doing what needs to be done to make your goals happen.

Spend 10 to 15 minutes every day doing nothing except finding that 'something is missing' place in your life by connecting with the core of peace in the centre of your being. Do this through various meditation practices, breath awareness, yoga, t'ai chi or music.

About the Author

Sandra Prior runs her own bodybuilding website at http://bodybuild.rr.nu.

How To Get A Good Night Sleep

by Amy Twain

For an average person, a good night sleep is basic and essential to one's health. Nothing beats more than having a restful, forty winks and having to wake up feeling fully energized and ready to face another day. There are some critical factors in having a sound sleep. It may be because of lifestyles, work shifts, daily habits and health conditions. Generally, people that snore have much more difficulty sleeping as opposed to people who do not snore. There are people out there that claim they are still in good condition even if their snooze time is less than three hours at night.

Since not all people are the same, what is sufficient for one may not be enough for the other. It depends on the person, really. The quality of sleep and the length of it greatly affect having a good night sleep. The body's condition is another factor. We can never force it to come to us. We should not force it when we do not want to. Always let our body be ready for it before lying in bed. When the body is not prepared for it, it is likely and natural that you will be unable or have difficulty in sleeping.

If we are still awake and lying in bed for more than twenty minutes, then it is about time to quickly get out of bed. There is this famous saying which goes, "If you can't sleep, just count sheep." Well, in my case, it did not work for me. I still can't find a scientific explanation or connection between sleep and counting sheep. Anyway, one of the best ways to induce slumber is to perform some not so heavy exercises earlier at night when we are unable to sleep, rather than wait for it to come. When we are getting ready for bedtime, our body should have the feeling that we are about to doze off and welcomes it into our system.

Remember not to use the bed for any other purposes aside from sleeping. On the contrary, if we read a book, think too much, talk on the phone or watch TV on the bed, our body may not be able to understand that we want to rest when we go to bed. Not sleeping in the daytime is a good help. Sleeping too much in daytime will not make us be able to snooze well at night. However, if you really need to take a nap at daytime, doing so before three o'clock in the afternoon is fine. And remember to limit your nap time to only at least an hour.

Our sleeping well is linked to our interests and day to day habits. If we have these habits that inhibit us from enjoying a restful good night sleep, then we should step out of it immediately. A good night sleep is a crucial and important factor in contributing to a person's health and well being because we spend our life more than one third just sleeping.

About the Author

The author of this article Amy Twain is a Self Improvement Coach who has been successfully coaching and guiding clients for many years. Amy recently decided to go public and share her knowledge and experience through her website http://www.innerzine.com. You can sign up for her free newsletter and join her coaching program.

tress Relief Via Yoga Relaxation Techniques

by Dan Vervondel

The stress is interconnected to health and many people find instantaneous stress reduction by laughing or going on some leisure action or practising some hobby. Yoga relaxation techniques considers anxiety as discrepancy and this is misery as the physical and mental levels are at disproportionate pace. The prolonged state of pressure turns to become alarming and they become very restless. The activities of man have gained so much force that the system is incapable to cope with it and is making the person emotionally hypersensitive. The modern man attempts to resolve and reduce his tension by resorting to drinking, smoking, drugs or sex. He tries to hold on to such ways of resolving strain. To a great extent this is often leading to disasters and the amount of break ups is frequently cumulative. In fact, it is proven that great personalities who have high expectations face more anxiety.

A lot of people prefer doing yoga to maintain a good and healthy life.Fitness is important in doing yoga. Yoga techniques are helpful in maintaining good organs and other parts of the body such as the muscles, joints, glands, tissues and vital organs. These are the main focus of setting yoga techniques.Here are some yoga techniques that you can practice during your yoga session. Despite your busy schedule or the crowed place you stay at, keeping up with these yoga techniques will help you go through it. The five yoga techniques include: posture, relaxation, meditation, deep breathing and movement of joints. Each technique has its own role and function. The movement of joints is called the 'sandhichalana'. This is one of the yoga techniques that focus on the joints. The joints undergo full movements which include the movement of the hands, movement of the neck and the movement of the lower limb. In relaxation, there are some yoga techniques that will deepen your concentration and prevent your attention to be drawn easily.

Yoga relaxation is the best way to reduce stress and being the oldest ways of reducing pressure, it is widely accepted. Yoga and strain reduction work good in association.Regular training of Yoga teaches you to stay calm and to look things in a different angle. As your mind becomes calm, the muscles, joints and bones are tranquil. This relaxed state of mind helps in accomplishing you work without problems. People doing Yoga are good in work implementation and produce improved quality. Each human being who undergoes stress has to concentrate and has to assign some time for repose so that he is able to reduce tension and function normally.

About the Author

Stress relief and relaxation meditation as key to a happy lifestyle via happythoughtlifestyles.comThis resource of useful tips and articles from Dan Brussels assists you in achieving a better healthier lifestyle for you and your family.
Another fitness oriented blog of Dan Brussesl to visit :lifestyle.eu

Easy Meditation Tips to Start Meditating

by Michael Rothermel

Stressed out? Seeking greater mental clarity? Want to discover deeper peace in your life? Or perhaps to get more deeply in touch with your own spirituality?

Do you find yourself baffled as to where to start in order to learn how to meditate?

Are you looking for some easy meditation tips to get yourself started? Or perhaps you have been using a particular meditation method and find yourself in a rut and just need a change to get back on track. There are many meditation techniques, but here is a common one that is simple:

• Find a place to sit quietly and comfortably in a place where you will not be disturbed.

• Sit with your spine straight but not stiff. Roll your head and shoulders gently around make sure your shoulders are relaxed.

• Focus your attention on your breathing. Take three easy and deep "calming breaths" - inhale into your diaphragm (not lungs): slowly count to three on your inhale, hold for a two count, and exhale with a four count. If these numbers don't feel comfortable, change the count to whatever works for you. The point is simply to slow yourself down, get centered.

• Feel the breath as it comes into your nose. . . . and when it goes out through your mouth. Some people find it more comfortable to exhale through the nose as well, or to breathe only with the mouth. Do what works for you to start with, but know that inhaling through the nose and exhaling through the mouth is a classic meditation method used for centuries. Do this for several minutes until you feel relaxed.

• Once you begin to feel more relaxed, begin to gently repeat a word or phrase that seems to resonate with you at the time, such as the word, "one," or a simple affirmation such as, "I am one with the love of the universe."

• If you desire to get more deeply in touch with your own spirituality, then use a word that gives voice to your own spirit or religious tradition. Words that are effective for just about any spirituality or religious tradition include, "I rest in Your peace, O Lord," or "Give me Your Spirit, O God." One of my favorite phrases is, "Let your love flow in me, O God" on the in-breath, and then "Let your love flow," on the out-breath.

Other thoughts will enter your mind. Just observe them and let them go. Be gentle with yourself. If you find yourself getting distracted, don't beat yourself up, just notice the distraction, and return to your meditation. Return your attention to your breath, and then just go back to repeating your word or phrase.

• To bring your meditation to an end, try focusing on your last five breaths in the same way you started - inhale slowly to a three count, hold for a two count, and exhale with a four count. In time, when you have mastered this way of ending your meditation, I recommend that rather than counting on your last breaths, that you focus on the word, "thank you," on the in-breath, again on the holding breath, and once again on the exhale.

• At the end of your meditation time, give yourself a gentle transition of sitting quietly for a few minutes before moving on. If you are a beginner, don't start practicing meditation for more than 15 minutes, unless it seems very natural for you. Start with meditating for five to 10 minutes a day, gradually increasing it to 20 to 30 minutes. You may want to keep a clock nearby so you can keep track of the time. But here's an important tip: don't use an alarm that might be too "alarming" that startles you back to alertness. There are many more easy meditation tips, but I hope this is helpful to you!

Peace be with you.

Michael Rothermel

About the Author

My name is Michael Rothermel and I have been studying, researching, and teaching meditation for over 25 years. I have a passion for helping people learn simple meditation methods to relieve stress, find mental clarity, discover deeper peace, and if they desire, to get more deeply in touch with their own spirituality. Visit http://www.easymeditationtips.com to get your free report on Using Affirmations in Meditation. Peace be with you!

6 Amazing Tips On How To Manage Your Stress

by James Stein

Stress is everywhere. And with the fast-paced life that people live nowadays, stress has been a huge part of everyone's life. In fact, people are so used to it that they treat it as a normal daily occurrence. This is not normal at all. Stress, when not managed properly, can lead to all kinds of health problems, primary of which is heart problems. This is especially true with people who have had family history of heart problems.

Stress management is however really easy to do when you make an effort. In fact, if you keep in mind to prevent it from happening, you can actually live a stress-free life or at the very least be able to cope with it easily. After all, dealing with stress is stressful in itself.

Below are some great tips to help manage the stress. You don't actually have to go to elaborate ways to release the stress. You can get rid of it by preventing its occurrence in the first place. Read on and you might just keep those wrinkles from showing up.

1. Keep yourself more organized

Stress is so usual these days that it's already expected. So it's better that you prepare yourself for the big ones and let go of the smaller, insignificant pests. You can only do this if you keep your life organized. You may not know it but simply looking for your misplaced pen in the office can already put you in a lot of stress, not to mention, cause you to lose your concentration. Don't let that happen to you. Keeping your things organized will make you more prepared to deal with the bigger ones.

2. Start on your projects early

It is not true that creative juices only come out in cramming times. It only comes out during those times because we are forced to think. And with enough willpower, we can certainly think of creative concepts without stressing ourselves for lack of time. Starting early on your projects will also mean that you don't have to hurry when you are working on the project. You can take your time and really think about what you are planning to do with your project. This will not only prevent you from getting stressed out but also allow you to create a more effective and complete project.

3. Live a healthy lifestyle

Stress levels will rarely affect you when you are prepared for it, health-wise. You see, when your body is healthy and is full of energy, you are more or less protected from the effects of stress such as lowering of energy levels, nervous breakdown and sometimes, even heart disease. This can only be done by living healthy through eating the right kinds of food, getting enough sleep each night and taking the time to relax.

4. Take a break from your normal life.

If you feel that you are already nearing your breaking point, don't be a martyr. Take a break and get out of town or take a short vacation. This will do you a lot of good as it will help you recharge and de-stress yourself. If you are too busy, don't postpone it just drop everything and take care of yourself. Not doing so will only make the stress fester inside until you become too stressed out to even be productive.

This is the reason why employers give vacation leave so that people can take a full day of rest or a couple of days of rest to regain their former energy levels and creative selves.

5. Manage your stress through massage therapy Stress management through massage therapy is considered as the modern antidote for stress because it helps combat stress by trying to reduce the tension build up in the muscles. Aside from boosting the body's immune system, massage therapy also prevents the decrease in circulation and nutrient delivery to tissues which many people who are stressed often are prone with.

6. Use aromatherapy as a stress buster When it comes to aromatherapy, it involves the procedure that uses essential oils and aims to bring notable changes in a person's mood or body. With the use of essential oils which are derived from various plants and their part that are believed to have therapeutic properties aromatherapy continues to be adapted by more and more people across the globe because of its numerous benefits.

About the Author

Secure Your WordPress Blog Today WordPress Secured

Been online for over 23 years and have been developing websites for the last 15 years. I have built small html website to very large complex php and ajax based websites. ArticleProductions.com.

How to Overcome Self-Pity While Increasing your Love & Compassion

by Colin G Smith

Imagine what life would be like if you learned how to utilise your self-pitying states of mind by transforming them into powerful resources instead.

Could this be possible?

So called negative states of mind such as loneliness, frustration and despair are neutralised, changed or eliminated with many of the current psychological models.

While these methods can get useful results the whole picture becomes more interesting when we consider what many spiritual traditions have often claimed:

Our suffering actually contains within it an incredible opportunity for growth!

The fact that we are deeply familiar with states of suffering enables us to generate the most noble of virtuous minds such as love and compassion.

What this implies is that with the correct know-how we can replace our habitual patterns of self-pity with minds of love and compassion.

The secret of this approach is actually really simple, yet incredibly profound.

To experience a feeling of love/compassion rather than retched self-pity we simply switch the object of cherishing.

With self-pity we are obsessively cherishing our self: eg) "Poor me, me, me, I'm so lonely" etc.

If we were to switch the object of cherishing to another person we have affection for, and who probably experiences similar and worse feelings, it would enable us to generate a feeling of compassion.

A much more positive state of mind!

Below then is a complete strategy for 're-programming' our thought patterns.

A Strategy for Overcoming Self-pity

1. When you're feeling sorry for yourself what does that feel like? Notice the negative feelings in your body.

2. As you experience those feelings what would you name them? eg) loneliness, frustration, worthlessness

It's ok if you have no name for the feelings.

3. Imagine seeing yourself over there. Simply observe that you suffering and allow a feeling of love and compassion to arise.

Be gentle with yourself. Remember in essence we are pure, virtually limitless, potential and the delusions and problems we experience are like waves on an ocean. They are impermanent. They cannot not change!

3. Now think of loved ones who probably experience similar feelings and worse. (It's important that you actually choose people you have an emotional connection with. Somebody you're close too and have affection for.)

4. As you picture them in front, with that image of yourself, notice the growing feeling of love & compassion arising...

5. Breath with this feeling for a minute or three. You may begin to notice how you soften. Enjoy the warmth and softening of your heart centre.

Build Bridges of Love & Compassion into the Future

To get this new strategy "wired-in" so it becomes an automatic habit we just need to do a few quick rehearsals in our mind.

So think of situations in the future where it's likely you would experience self-pity.

And notice what the first thing you would see or hear before the feelings of self-pity start up?

As you allow those feelings to arise go through the procedure from step 1.

Doing this rehearsal with a few situations, in different contexts, will enable your unconscious to generalise the new strategy.

What this means is that, in the future, as soon as feelings of self-pity begin to arise in whatever context, the new strategy will trigger and you will then have the freedom to choose to experience feelings of love and compassion instead.

The choice is now in your hands.

About the Author

Colin G Smith is a licensed Master Practitioner of Neuro- Linguistic Programming (NLP) and author of 'The NLP ToolBox', a personal development book that enables the reader to master any area of their life with amazing speed. Complete information on Colin G Smith's books are available at his website, including a FREE personal development mini- course. http://www.NLPToolBox.com

The Step-by-step Goal Setting Activities That Never Fail

by Shawn Lim

Do you know what goal setting is and how it can help you to achieve what you want in your life? In fact, goal setting is a simple process that keeps you focuses on where you are heading. However, most people fail to achieve their goals and they underestimate the power of goal setting.

You know it very well that goal setting works and it works wonder if you treat it seriously. The problem with most people is that they do not really know how to set their goals and they do not follow through the process of goal setting activities. The good news is, below is the step-by-step goal setting activities that never fail. If you follow through, you will be able to achieve your goals easily.

1. Know what you really want before you set your goals. You have to decide what you want and where you are heading before you start your journey.

2. Once you knew what you want, know why you want it. It is the burning desire and the reasons that will motivate you and drive you into taking action. If the reasons are not strong enough, you will never have the motivation to take action.

3. Take a piece of paper and grab a pen. Write down your goals and be as specific as possible. And remember to write down the deadline for each of your goal as well.

4. Paste your goal sheet somewhere you can see often. Be it on your table or paste it on the wall in front of your table. This will constantly reminding yourself about your goals and you have to be committed to do this.

5. Take at a few action steps everyday in order to move toward your goals. This is where most people fail. Goal setting is not a magic wand; you have to take action to make your goals come true.

The above are the step-by-step goal setting activities. If you follow through, I'm sure that you will be able to achieve your goals. Remember, success is about getting things done. If you are not doing anything, nothing is going to happen. So take the first step now to make your goals come true.

About the Author

If you are serious in achieving what you really want in your life, goal setting is the right tool for you. I'm going to share with you the 3 phases of Goal Setting Activities, you are about to discover the real and guaranteed strategies how to achieve your goals.

For more information about Goal Setting Activities, please visit: http://www.Goal-Setting-Activities.com

Top 3 Secrets How To Make Your Goals Come True

by Shawn Lim

Many people set their goals to achieve what they want in their life. However, most of them fail to achieve their goals most of the time. This is not because goal setting does not work; it is because they are using the wrong approach to make their goals come true.

If you are serious in achieving your goals, you must put in 100% commitment and decide that you will do whatever it takes to achieve them. Many do not have the commitment and hence they are not doing anything after they have set their goals. You know it very well that if you are not doing anything, you will never achieve anything.

So how can you achieve your goals? By following through the top 3 secrets how to make your goals come true, I believe that achieving your goals will be an easy and fun task…

1. Nothing is going to happen if you are just writing down your goals without doing anything. So the first thing you need to do to make your goals come true is to make sure that you take at least 3 action tasks that will bring you toward your goals. Remember, success is about getting things done. Plainly writing down your goals on a piece of paper is not enough; you need to actually work on it.

2. You have to force yourself to take action by burning all the exits so that you have no other alternatives but to achieve your goals. How can you do so? Very simple, by making a public commitment and tell everyone about your goals. When you do so, you know that you have no other choice but to achieve your goals. However, you have to make sure that you are able to turn negative forces like teasing from friends into positive energy that drives you through.

3. The last thing you can do is to reward yourself whenever you have achieved anything, be it your small goals, big goals or the daily action task that you are supposed to do. When you do this, you are training your mind and telling yourself to be more discipline. On the other hand, punish yourself if you procrastinate or delay the action that you are supposed to take.

These are the top 3 secrets how you can make your goals come true. By following through the 3 secrets that I mentioned above, achieving your goals will be a mission possible and it is going to be something fun.

About the Author

If you are serious in achieving what you really want in your life, goal setting is the right tool for you. I'm going to share with you the 3 phases of Goal Setting Activities, you are about to discover the real and guaranteed strategies how to achieve your goals.

For more information about Goal Setting Activities, please visit: http://www.Goal-Setting-Activities.com

How To Be A Top Contributor In Tough Times

by Andrew Cox

In these times - tough times by anyone's measure - it's important to be seen as a contributor - a person who makes a positive difference in the success of their enterprise.

But having said that, when is the last time you read an article, or a book, on how to be a contributor to any enterprise? Go in any bookstore and see the books on leadership - rows of them. No titles on being a contributor. And yet effective contribution results in most of the successes in any enterprise - just ask the leaders.

So what does it take to be a top contributor? We asked some of the most successful people we know. Here are their answers: ten Behaviors, Attitudes and Personal Skills of top contributors. We offer these ten answers as a self inventory. As you read through what top contribtors do, ask yourself where you see yourself.

1 - They do the work that's recognized as the most important work by their organization. They identify what is most important by creating mutually shared goals. The secret to effective contribution is doing the work that is most important - and ensuring that is where the focus is. None of the other nine items is even worth mentioning if the important work doesn't get done on time while meeting budget, performance, quality and other criteria. It's not a matter of accepting what needs to be done - that goes without saying. Do the important work and get the opportunity to be seen as a top contributor. This sounds so basic - but it's amazing how often it doesn't occur.

2 - They practice personal leadership through self discipline. Being on time; meeting commitments; knowing when and how to say no; focusing on work and letting the unimportant go; maintaining emotional control; are all behaviors of top contributors.

3 - They accept the culture for what it is and adapt to it - or get out. There is no bigger waste of time than trying to change what exists to meet personal expectations. Better to leave or accept the culture - as long as it doesn't require acting immorally, unethically, illegally or unsafely.

4 - It's not about you. Top contributors know personalizing decisions and thinking of them in terms of self is a great way to lose motivation and commitment. Let's face it, a lot of decisions will differ from what might be seen as optimal, but accepting decisions for what they are, not making them personal, and moving on to the next issue is top contributor behavior.

5 - Thet take pride in contribution. Top contributors are convinced of the importance of their work - if they weren't how could they possibly see the value of their accomplishments? It's like the story of the three bricklayers: when asked what they were doing, the first said he was laying brick; the second said he was helping build a school; and the third said he was participating in offering a better education to children through his best efforts. Which bricklayer best describes how you value your work?

6 - Be convinced that you have a gift to give - then give it. Top contributors don't ration their efforts. They focus, they operate at top speed, and they get more done than they realized they could. And the next time they're asked to climb that same mountain, it's not nearly as high as the first time. And they can look for more - whatever more means to them.

7 - They realize interdependence beats independence in accomplishing anything. Group effort can seem like a pain at the beginning, but a top contributor knows the pain comes before the gain. Focused effort by a group is so much more powerful than individual effort in almost all situations. Acquiring the Personal Skills to work effectively in collaborations is key to top contribution.

8 - They have high ideals, but maintain realistic expectations. Peter Senge - in The Fifth Discipline defines a cynic in this way : "Scratch a cynic and you will find an idealist, someone who made the mistake of letting their ideals become their expectations." Ideals are important - without them staying on course is impossible. But creating a failure scenario by making an ideal a goal is a sure recipe for frustration and a reduced sense of self worth.

9- Top contributors are fixers, not blamers. They know establishing accountability for things that go wrong is necessary for the future. But they are much more focused on solutions than on placing blame. They know solutions behavior promotes communication and learning while blame behavior promotes defensiveness and error avoidance.

10 - They use a combination of personal and organizational goals to frame their work and their lives. The closer the alignment between the different goal sets, the better. Top contributors know relying on organizational goals to establish self worth and value is very limiting. Organizational goals can change unexpectedly and often - particularly in tough times. Personal goals, on the other hand, provide a "True North" perspective on what is really important.

Take the time, right now, to carefully look at your own contributions - and what can be done to increase your personal impact in your personal and organizational life. Then decide which of the Behaviors, Attitudes and Personal Skills of top contributors will help you achieve the success you want. Then act to make them happen - and watch 2009, even in the midst of tough times, be the best of times.

About the Author

Andy Cox helps individuals, teams and organizations identify and develop their Multipliers of Success - the unique set of Behaviors, Motivators and Personal Skills each client needs for success. Contact Andy at acox@consultgroup.com Visit his website for information on how he can help you discover and develop your Multipliers of Success. His website address is http://www.coxconsultgroup.com

Get Rid of Your "But" and Transform Your Life

by Cindy Silbert, Author, Creator and Life Cultivator

Think about what you really want and see how long it takes before a "but" comes up. Our subconscious or ego works to cleverly point out why we can't or shouldn't have what we really want. Over time a simple contrary thought becomes a negative belief and your "but" can grow into a great divide between you and what you most want. Here's are a few common "buts":

• I want to lose weight "But" I don't have time to work out. • I want to start a business "But" it's not the right time. • I want to move my life forward "But" I don't know where to start. • I want to find the love of my life "But" I need to get into shape first. • I want to move to a better place to live "But" the market isn't good. • I want to change my life "But" I need to get clear on what I want first. • I want to save money "But" I can hardly pay my bills. • I want to make more money "But" maybe I'm too greedy. • I'd like to change careers "But" I'm too old. • I want to take a dance class "But" I'm too uncoordinated.

The list goes on and becomes more complicated. I became aware of my "But" when I started my company Bring U to Life. It was such a big vision that I found myself thinking, "I want to create this business "But" I am too old now. Why didn't I start it earlier?" Then, it hit me. I remembered being 25 years old and thinking, "I want to start my own business "But" I'm too young." I realized that both of these thoughts were manufactured by my ego in an effort to protect me from failure by preventing me from having what I want. That's when I set out to get rid of my "But" forever.

So why does your "But" get in the way of having what you want? It has to do with the Law of Attraction. In order to get the Law of attraction working for you, you have to send a clear and consistent message to the Universe. Our desires are clearly communicated to the Universe until our subconscious mind confuses things by counteracting our pure creative thoughts with a "But" thought which puts what we want on hold or cancels it out completely. Unless you get rid of this nasty habit you'll spin your creative wheels, waste precious time and energy never having the Law of Attraction working for you.

Here are three simple steps you can take to get rid of your "But":

1. Become aware of your "But" through observation. Notice how many times "But" thoughts come up and how many times the word "But" comes out of your mouth. 2. Determine how big your "But" really is. Write all of your "Buts" down. Begin with what you want first and then the "But" after that. If you have "Buts" that are so big you really believe they're true, you'll need to get rid of them by replacing them with something else. Rewrite the statement of what you want and stop where you would have written "But" and instead write "And I am". Follow "And I am" with a powerful creative statement. For example, if what you wrote is something like "I want to take better care of myself "But" I really don't have them time." Rewrite it as "I want to take better care of myself "And I am" exercising and eating healthy every day because I love myself and caring for my body is the foundation for everything else I want to create." Do this as many times for as many "Buts" you have in you. 3. Remove the word "But" from your vocabulary. It really has little value and your everyday language is a powerful tool for sending a consistent message to the Universe about what you want.

Get rid of your "But" and dramatically transform your life by getting the Law of Attraction working for you.

© Bring U to Life, Inc. For more articles like this and guidance to thrive in every aspect of your life from home, work, love, body, soul and money visit www.bringUtolife.com or click http://www.bringutolife.com/become_member.html to join our free membership and receive a free e-book or visit Cindy's blog at www.cindysilbert.com. You may also contact me at cindy@bringUtolife.com to explore coaching and to learn the practice of Life Cultivation. My book Chameleon Butterfly Dragonfly is available on Amazon.com.

About the Author

Cindy's natural gift is to listen beyond words as she guides women to thrive in every aspect of life from home, work, love, body and soul. She is an Author, Coach, Speaker and the Creator of Life Cultivation, a dynamic fusion of eastern and western practices.

A Positive Attitude In Life Will Allow You To Live Better

by DA Southern

One of my favorite authors, William James, said, "It is our attitude at the beginning of a difficult undertaking which, more than anything else, will determine its successful outcome." That much I have always known to be true. To have a Positive Attitude in Life is more of a mission than something I SHOULD do to make my life better.

There have been some studies done recently about how Attitude has affected folks who have lived to be a ripe old age and the results are nothing short of amazing. A majority of the studies were done on people that it had been determined that they had realized early on that A Positive Mental Attitude was worth it over the long haul. It was not something that they "Picked up" during a bad situation, not that is a bad thing if you make that change from a negative attitude for good. It is a lot like faith, really. Once you realize the intrinsic value of what faith can do for you, you can and will have a better quality of life, I believe.

These studies were shown to clearly establish that the folks that gave themselves completely to the Attitude that no matter what, they were determined to look at the situation in a Positive manner, they, more often than not, got a successful outcome to their situation.

Don't get me wrong, this is not a "Pie in the Sky" attitude that negates serious situations, but it is a better approach to thinking than the "Nothing good ever happens to me" approach.

My grandmother had an old wooden placard than hung on her wall in her kitchen for as long as I can remember that said, "I once complained that I had no shoes until I met a man who had no feet." Now the imagery to a little kid of a man with no feet was never pleasant as I remember first reading it, but the significance, in my later years, was never lost on me.

The whole act of gratitude is a vital aspect of living with a Positive mindset. You see, if there is nothing inside of you that can be grateful for any small part of your life, then maybe it isn't possible for you to have a Positive Attitude in Life. I dare not think that the case, however.

Look around you and find someone else to share yourself with and that will give you a leg up on having a Positive Attitude. If you find that "Man with no feet" and can still not think of yourself in a better light, then shame on you.

Do it for yourself. My grandmother would be proud.

About the Author

DA Southern is an entrepreneur who has learned the hard way that unless you are doing something you are passionate about, you cannot begin to realize true financial riches. DA blogs about Directing Your Own Life in his blog where he likes to examine ideas that lead to living a financially free lifestyle by creating a future that you love.

itsyourshowitsyourlife.com/blog

Helping Those In Grief

by Amy Twain

There are times in our lives that inevitably we will become face-to-face with grief. Or somebody and anybody in grief for that matter. Friends and family are there ready to support and help loved ones, and helpers often alleviate those who are grieving. There are some practical suggestions on how to give appropriate help in their trying times of sorrow. 1.) Allow the grievers to grieve. With your presence, you can be of crucial help even just to lessen the pain and agony they are going through. Be more understanding and patient though. 2.) Expect some changeable reactions from the bereaved.

Obviously, they are still on an emotional transition and much prone to more volatile moods. 3.) Be present to them in grief. The griever shared their loss and sorrow with you. It is only fitting to give them your undivided attention. It is very valuable to them and it could be a form of healing as well. 4.) View the sorrow and loss from their point of view. Their loss is their own and unique. You can never really feel their pain without actually experiencing it from their perspective. 5.) Maintain and give an appropriate emotional space and ample time from the griever.

Do not try to make their loss as if your own loss. 6.) Inspire expressing verbally the memories and feelings of the one who died. Talking about the deceased is also therapeutic for those afflicted with grief. It helps them move on from their mourning and begins to build a new perspective. 7.) Help the mourner accept and recognize the loss to avoid being in a state of denial. 8.) Listen with understanding and compassion. Try to be as non-judgmental as you can. 9.) Give the bereaved the permission to talk, cry and reflect without unnecessary interruption. 10.) Help the bereaved with enough data about the grieving process.

Insure them that they are not "crazy" and what they are going through is all a part of the mourning and grieving process. 11.) Assist the griever with some daily useful tasks (making important phone calls, shopping for family needs, driving to banks, taking the kids for a couple of hours, and any other errands to help them ease the burden). 12.) Be more informed about some grief-related issues and provide tender sympathetic care. 13.) Be very helpful and kind and always keep in touch. 14.) Encourage therapy. 15.) Motivate counseling if action and behaviors appear to be extreme or pathological.

16.) Bear in mind that even evenings, especially holidays, and weekends may be more difficult for the bereaved. 17.) Help the griever avoid insincere expectations as to how they "should" be feeling and when they will feel better. It is more fitting and compassionate to say, "I do not know how well you are able to manage this as you do." 18.) At some appropriate time ask the bereaved to accompany you to some activities or outings with you. 19.) Encourage the bereaved to participate and join support groups.

About the Author

The author of this article Amy Twain is a Self Improvement Coach who has been successfully coaching and guiding clients for many years. Amy recently decided to go public and share her knowledge and experience through her website http://www.innerzine.com. You can sign up for her free newsletter and join her coaching program

Who Motivates The Motivator?

by Paul J. Meyer

We've all seen and heard stories of the brilliant young coach who fights his way to the top of the heap, brings in the championship, and then suddenly falls into decline, leaving a bewildered team and dismayed fan base in the wake.

One of the main reason dreams die after skyrocketing to success is that success begins to be viewed as a permanent condition. However, the fact is that you must maintain the same qualities of drive, initiative, and purpose that allowed you to arrive in the winner's circle the first time around. Once you reach a goal, you must work twice as hard as you originally did to get there!

Your job as a coach is not only to motivate others but also to keep the passion alive in yourself. When you are lulled into complacency by all your previous accomplishments, you begin to lose your edge, to discard all the elements of success that handed you that victory - you begin to coast. And as a wise man once said, "If you're coasting, you're surely not coasting uphill."

However, as any successful person will tell you, being the one that others look to for inspiration and motivation can present a serious problem. When you are the sole powerhouse of your team's enthusiasm, what happens when you run out of gas, when you feel the fire dying out?

Who motivates the motivator?

You may be thinking, "Okay, I am losing my fire, so who will motivate the motivator?" The answer is YOU! You must self-motivate and be able to stand alone in this process. But remember, the fact that you arrived at the position you now hold means you already possess that ability in a major way! You know how to stand alone and get the job done.

The bottom line is you will have to establish a program of personal motivation that will continue to fuel your passion, desire, and thirst for new and ongoing victories. One of the most helpful things I do in my own life is to avail myself of motivational books and CD's about successful people from all walks of life. I find that as I read and listen I am filled with the same drive and determination that made them successful.

The next and most important step, however, is to put into play five major steps to get you where you want to go and keep you there:

Step #1: Crystallize your thinking. You must set specific goals for yourself with a time frame for achieving them. General goals will not be effective. Having strong, exciting goals guarantees you will keep your fervor and enthusiasm.

Step #2: Write your goals down. When you write your goals down in concrete steps that can be checked off as you accomplish them, you will remain committed and focused. Never check off the completion of one step until you are already involved in completing the next step. You want to keep the momentum going!

Step #3: Develop a burning desire to reach you goals. The desire to accomplish your goals is maintained by identifying all the benefits you will experience and receive once your goals are attained. Include all the areas in which you will benefit professionally and personally. Be specific. Write this list of benefits down and keep it with you, referring to it often.

Step #4: Maintain an unshakable faith in yourself and your ability to accomplish your goals. This is not the time to be modest! List every strength and positive attribute you have. Make the list as long and as truthful as possible. Compare your qualities with other great men that have already accomplished the goals you desire.

Step #5: Create an iron-willed determination that will blast any obstacle from your path. Once you have truly internalized your goals and their benefits, you will perceive any obstacle as merely something that must be eliminated from your path. Let nothing stand in your way!

Once you realize that motivation for continued success must come from within yourself, you can proceed with the proper steps to make that happen. All the attributes that brought you to your present position are the same attributes that can fuel your continued rise to success. Keep the fires burning; keep the enthusiasm high; hear the roar of the crowd; it's time to take the field. It's time for victory!

About the Author

Paul J. Meyer, best-selling New York Times author and founder of the Success Motivation Institute has written two dozen full-length programs plus numerous books on attitude, motivation, goal setting, management, leadership, and time management. In his highly acclaimed book, Become The Coach You Were Meant To Be, available at http://www.pauljmeyer.com, Paul shares the major goals of leadership that will make you a winning coach.